Out, Out Damn Spot - Sun Baked

I have a friend that is a scientist and part of her research involves extensive field work. She has been spending extremely long days unsheltered and unprotected. The weather might be cooling off but the sun is merciless and despite her best efforts to stay hydrated and maintain a proper electrolyte balance the heat causes her to end each day with a terrible headache. I asked her about good sunglasses to protect from UV and glare and if there were any benefit from use of a hat. She informed me that the sunglasses impaired her observation of the subject and no matter what sort of hat she has tried they are too tight and too hot.

This troubled me, of course, and since I am a self-proclaimed genius it is only right that I should exhaust all possibilities and propose an elegant solution. Please, I know - I'm wonderful; but this time it really doesn't all have to be about me.

As I have only come to know her through the web I am not certain that I have all of the necessary facts and details so I must postulate I am following a design process that must evolve from the basic requirements to an ultimate solution. When she claims that she has used all types of hats - as much as I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt we must be realistic. She is, after all, only a scientist and they are hardly as exacting and thorough as I.

I will speculate she has tried a baseball-type cap. That would be both tight and hot and afford no real protection from direct sun. I must also allow that she may have tried the legionnaires' approach and draped or attached some sort of fabric to protect her neck. That, too, would be more hot and sticky than comfortable. So what we are really after is a loose fitting but broad-brimmed specimen. It would be preferable that it be lightweight and made of a breathable material and perhaps in a light color that reflects radiated energy away from the head. That criteria automatically leaves out this choice.

Although certainly stylish one may note almost immediately that there is really no shelter from the direct rays of the sun to the brow and field of vision. I am not all that convinced that the gauze is an effective netting for flying insects, either. What is needed is something more encompassing. Now, it would stand to reason that she may also have tried a hat similar to this.

It is extremely surprising to me that a hat of this type proved unsuitable. It is not too snug in fit, the material appears to be of a durable but lightweight cotton and the brim very throughly protects the face, neck and shoulders. I am rather amazed this is not a win/win scenario. I do think we are heading in the right direction, however. Perhaps, if we go with another natural and durable material?

This has promise. The open weave is very breathable. I am somewhat dissatisfied as we appear to be taking a step backwards. By rolling the sides of the brim, the neck and shoulders and even the sides of the face are too exposed.





If this were the proper direction then we might as well pursue this alternative.

The knit portion could be adjusted vertically, like a venetian blind. Unfortunately, the operative word is, "knit," which must be dismissed without further consideration as thermally inappropriate.

No. I am certain there is a design that meets all the rigors of her demands and it must certainly involve a brim of sufficient circumference to shade from the shoulders - up. If it's sufficiently pliable it can be tucked away in a satchel or pack and retrieved whenever required. Those same attributes would allow some options, making it more of a convertible arrangement. None of this is really new. Why, just consider all of the aforementioned specifications and one may realize an enhanced version of this.

We're close, now. I can feel it! I grant you the fabric isn't my first choice but there is a simplicity and purposefulness to the design. Still, I know we can exceed the need. We must push on and do some really inspired work.

We need to focus. So far we have established lightweight, broad, circular brim, not-too-tight fitting, breathable to evacuate heat rather than add heat, which defeats the purpose.

Of course! It's the brilliant and what should have been the obvious choice.

Surely even a peer review would recognize the beauty of this design? Lightweight, loose-fitting and full protection from the sun without loss of any of the visual field. Marvelous! I can't wait to propose this solution to her.

What? Oh, come on?!? You still aren't persuaded? Alright, then. I am up for the challenge. You must be testing me to see just how remarkable are my gifts? Fine. I really don't like to show off like this. Please understand that I am only going along with this for the benefit of my friend and to add something of the scintillating experience I enjoy because of my vast intellectual prowess, every day. Even this design can be enhanced. Brace yourself for the magic.

Behold! Gaze in wide-eyed wonder. I give you the zenith example that meets or exceeds all of the criteria. Now, this is only a prototype. Recognize that the array of color is purely to demonstrate the manufacture of this ultra-modern design. A fabric suitable even to act as camouflage could certainly be employed. The collapsible frame affords easy storage and activation. The adjustable headband provides the minimum contact with the head but still allows for secure positioning. There is ample clearance from the head to ensure a steady flow of cross-ventilating, cooling air while at the same time the broad semi-spherical design creates full shadow to the upper portion of the body regardless of the solar azimuth.

There can not possibly be a more efficient hat design, anywhere. In fact, I can think of only one realistic alternative if my scientist friend finds even this hat intolerable. I have been working with a certain species of mammal that shows real promise in assisting my friend with all of her burdens and cares. They seem relatively naturally adapted to retrieving whatever one points to or at least seem to comprehend simple hand gestures and signals. I have been trying to add the concept of using their bodies as shade devices but am not fully persuaded they understand my intent as these are traditionally nocturnal creatures. I have yet to find a guaranteed method to indicate to them how to stand between the position of the sun in the sky and a person working such as in field research. They are bipedal and have demonstrated dexterity and facility with their opposable thumbs. It has been relatively easy to teach them the use of simple tools. I am not certain if I have crossed any ethical boundaries by using these creatures in such a way but they do not seem to mind and are particularly receptive when encouraged to perform to music.