Showing posts with label world view. Show all posts
Showing posts with label world view. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Look Away, I'm Hideous!

I have admitted something to myself more important than convincing everyone how truly terrible a person I am. By the way, some have absolutely no trouble subscribing to my awfulness while others spend too much time refuting my arguments. My friend, Evan, simply interjects, between my very protracted pauses for breaths, things to the effect of I can’t fool him or that my claims are unsubstantiated. It is important to highlight that he does add the qualifier that I am not as bad as I would like to present myself. So, he has left the door open to attribute some degree of rottenness, through his deliberate phrasing. Meanwhile, another friend has me branded as someone that entered an arena and was embraced and loved and respected so readily that I have gone out of my way to destroy my own popularity and reputation. It is true. I have done so deliberately. She rightly observes I am more comfortable as an undesirable scoundrel or untouchable. I know it is because otherwise I doubt I will be touched as much as I require.

Being discovered to actually be nice and to demonstrate regard for others is so contrary to my desire to be a threatening figure of a man that it really derails my ambition to alienate myself from the human race. I may be brutally blunt and obnoxiously direct but I care. I care to tell the truth. I care to not allow myself or others to hide. I care to listen and be involved. Caring sucks. When one cares, the want to help and to fix things is constantly thwarted either when someone elects to forsake the offered assistance or because no amount of help is sufficient. I hurt for others far more than for myself and I do not spare myself the luxury of wallowing; so, I carry this burden like a thorny crown. Fortunately for us all, the One that actually wore that crown has the power to overcome. I simply am asked to live rather than die. As has been said, “Dying is easy – Living is hard.” - In as far as this world dishes out misery, I have a good life. But, I live to help. I can’t resist the pull of jumping into the fray; even if I exacerbate the fraying as the result of my rough edges. I do not know how to remain neutral. I can not mind my own business or keep my mouth shut. For someone that cares so much I certainly don’t have much sensitivity when it comes to people’s personal space and preferences. I do not respect boundaries and I do not honor limits.

All of that was simply introduction to the utter dichotomy of my nature. I have a general contrariness and intolerance that borders on dictatorial. I am an advocate of executing martial law – MY edicts, of course. Yet, beneath the gruff and growl and the scowl and snarl has been a very tedious desire to embrace, accept, and conform to the prevailing view surrounding me. This has been an arduous and often insufferable vexing of soul and anguish of spirit for me. Simply put: I want to ”behave” and be a non-descript goo that is not in any way discernible from the masses. I have striven for that but it is the most monotonous of vane pursuits. I yearn to be invisible and homogeneous and . . . I must surely fail. The admission I am only making at now nearly forty-seven years of age is that I am not a conformist. I will always be distinguishable no matter where or with whom I am found.

The truth finally has to be faced that I am seeking to do precisely the opposite of most other people. Where others are looking to elevate themselves, I am attempting to disappear. As many wish to be found unique, I am struggling to compress myself into the cast. The similarity and the paradox lies in the fact I am engaged in the normal human wrangling to find comfort in my own skin except in reverse. I am trying to become a part of what most are trying to escape. I have a peculiarly inverted relationship to other human beings. Evan also insists that everyone claims to adore and wishes to emulate the Maverick and the independent thinker until they actually encounter such a one, personally. It is never a meeting of recognition and mutual admiration but of resentment and conflict and a feeling of threat and suspicion toward the unique, the individual, the “different.” Only historical figures are lauded and exalted while contemporary figures are ridiculed and despised. I must admit he is extremely observant. The thing that I have had to face has not been the shunning by others or even open hostility. That which has afflicted me has been self-contempt for being self-aware.

One finds escape from most of the unwanted identification as an individual as long as they may be conveniently packaged and branded. The largest umbrella to attempt to overshadow the fact that some project rather than reflect is found when labeled as an “artist.” As long as any term inviting explanations that can be encompassed by not quite all of the five senses of sight, taste, touch, hearing and smell may be applied (more out of convenience than supportable evidence) the lone figure may be contained, defined and deemphasized. There is a sort of normal desire to mar the clearly distinctive characteristics of others so that they become a blur in a faceless human smudge. A “visionary” is not as distasteful as the notion of a stubborn, insistent and willfully selfish magnate. One “listening to the beat of a different drummer” is far cuddlier and much warmer a character than when considered marching in a never wavering straight line to their objective. A “philosopher” is a much softer figure than the leader that shuns decision based on consensus or conventional “wisdom” who shuns the attempt of others to color his thoughts. In all of these, and especially in recent societal “developments” and “cultural influences,” feeling has supplanted thinking.

Currently, to stand out from the crowd really does not require that one necessarily exhibit any extraordinary abilities. All that is needed is to claim any abilities at all. It is expected that one must accept and make subjective value judgments based on the collective impression of feelings rather than on reason and carefully measured and repeatable standards. There is a strange duplicity of demanding accountability for others while apportioning deniability to one’s self. This is the grounds for intolerance of an individual because their very singular behavior threatens to reveal the whole machine a fraud by not subscribing or needing to find association with others. It is quite educational to demonstrate that ignorance is encouraged due to the subjective, collective pooling of tactile inputs as acceptable; but, the objective outputs of the individual mind are discounted as arrogance for daring to claim understanding. There is an actual preference to shun the notion there can be absolutes. There is nearly a religious fervor to imagine a world in which nothing may be stated with any certainty. This has been the futile struggle in which I have engaged for most of my life. I dare to claim insight and am punished for doing so. I have innocently identified common behavior and have been found guilty of crimes for failing to omit or overlook the folly of my fellow man. Many wish to identify with the child that told the truth about the absence of the Emperor’s new clothes, yet spend the majority of their efforts making whole cloth out of fabrications and falsehoods.

I must acknowledge that my desire to conform has only succeeded in creating a conflict between reason and action and Pavlovian response and reaction. Feeling is not thinking. Transient impressions are not keen observations. When one is mindless there is little to identify consequence for being thoughtless. I am at odds with a culture that seeks to remove any discernible and permanent markers and that refuses to recognize a fixed graduation or scale against which to examine the world outside or inside them. I can not, and in fact, will not waste my energy applying cosmetics to fit into some mask of reality. I am through with finding diversions and distractions in order to hide from others the unattractive things I see. If the need to allow the light to shine on human stupidity makes me an ugly person then I am finally able to articulate without apology, “Look away, I’m hideous.”


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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

A New Wrinkle - Carhenge!!!


Carhenge - Alliance, Nebraska



Look closely at the picture above. Look familiar? It 's a Stonehenge homage in Alliance, Nebraska made entirely from cars. It is the work of Jim Reinders, who assembled his creation in 1987. I find this brilliant and totally quirky all at the same time. You may find out more at the official site, www.carhenge.com This photograph is a greatly reduced image of a photo by Sam Kaler, one of several entered in the 2007 photo contest.


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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Out, Out Damn Spot - Hello Kitty Wanted For Questioning

Kimono-clad Hello Kitty holds her certificate received from Japan's Land, Infrastructure, Transport and Tourism Minister Tetsuzo Fuyushiba, left, at his office in Tokyo, Monday, May 19, 2008. Fuyushiba appointed the popular cartoon character as ambassador to welcome tourists from China and Hong Kong. Photo Credit: Koji Sasahara / AP

On the heels of yesterday’s announcement that Hello Kitty had been named Japan’s tourism ambassador to Hong Kong and China, allegations of involvement in an ongoing police investigation surfaced, but were quickly retracted. A source from Japan’s office of Land, Infrastructure, Transport and Tourism agreed to speak on condition of anonymity.

The source alleged that a crackdown on illegal labor practices involving sweatshops manufacturing the many products of the Hello Kitty empire had raised suspicions that, “Ms. Kitty was in this thing up to her whiskers.” However, further investigation put such speculation into doubt. After demonstrating remarkable poise in the face of such allegations, Hello Kitty, remained characteristically silent while freely cooperating with authorities and providing corroborating evidence for her attorney’s claims that she was not involved in such atrocities.

An attempt to verify the source’s information with police was rebuffed as the police will not comment on current investigations. A subsequent purse of incriminating documents was covertly left at this reporter’s desk, and although not as yet authenticated, further implicates Hello Kitty on corruption and racketeering charges. “That’s one felonious feline,” purred a high ranking official in the court, “but if you’re waiting for her to blink it’s never going to happen.”




[L-R] Hello Kitty's gal pal, Fifi;
purported missing friends, Cathy & Tiny Chum.


Rumor and conjecture are a seemingly daily bone of contention for international celebrities of Kitty’s and jet setting gal pal Fifi’s caliber. But the fur may start flying if any evidence links her to the mysterious disappearance of her close friends, Tiny Chum and Cathy. Although the close confidants and constant public companions of Hello Kitty have not been seen in nearly a week, authorities are reluctant to declare them officially missing persons. Grumblings among Kitty’s closest companions are the most provocative accusations being cast in her direction.

Surprisingly the most vocal has been Tippy, long-time hanger-on with a well publicized romantic interest in Ms. Hello. His own history of stalker-like behavior and substance abuse issues (two DUI in the past six months) has all but discredited his alarm but it is the shy avoidance of Hello’s other friends to come to her defense which has allowed the accusations to have some merit. Our anonymous source also indicated that the time of the sudden disappearances coincided too conveniently with the government’s decision to close the books on the working condition scandal and select Hello Kitty – a major financial contributor to the election coffers of many officials – to her role as ambassador to the very country in which the alleged misdeeds occurred.


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Monday, May 19, 2008

A New Wrinkle - Season Finales for BONES and House M.D.

First things, first. No, that is NOT my belly . . .

For those that have not seen one or both of these finales I am not going to play the spoiler. (I'm rude, not insensitive.) I am going to say that I found both of them disturbing in appropriate ways. Whoever the sadistic forces were behind these productions got it just right. I am saddened and extremely curious where each goes from here. I am also going to ruminate on the myriad subtle details of each for several days and then I will be bored out of my mind until the seasons begin again in the Fall.

I have yet to find a suitable outlet for expressing what goes on in the House universe but I have come across a very good (which, coming from me is an 11 on a scale of 10) blog site for BONES. Its host does a thorough job of turning over every rock to unearth the faintest whisper of news about the show, its cast, crew, producers, catering service - the works. Visit Obsessed with Bones and check it out for yourself.

Due to the duplicity of my nature I find it curious that I can embrace both of these shows and somehow identify with a character in each. I am not alone, there are people that especially concur that I am the real life persona of Dr. Gregory House. Based on the last scene in the finale when he is betwixt and between I'd have to say it's definitely true.

In BONES, I totally "get" what Agent Seeley Booth is all about. I don't have his distinguished service record but I live by the same creed.

So, somehow I can be a self-serving, manipulative - direct, brilliant, ass like House but I am also the all feeling, morally-centered defender of the wronged. Go figure.


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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Saving for a rainy day? More like for a Tsunami

The economic principle is known as “Supply and Demand” but the world seems to be practicing “Demand and Supply.” Today I’m going to depart from focusing only on my own immediate pacification and look at the endemic picture instead. I don’t care if you’re money is in your mattress or if it’s in well diversified holdings, futures and investments – neither one of you has a pot to piss in. Believe me, that pot will need to be huge because you don’t need to be saving for a rainy day – you need to be saving for a Tsunami.

I say this because if you’ve bought into the world-wide financial pyramid scheme and your credit score number is higher than the actual tangible amount of money you have in the bank then you are so screwed. We’re not even talking savings or retirement accounts. Uh-uh.

The consumer-driven economy has spread to every corner of the globe. Now, regardless of national political agendas the common goal is to buy, buy, buy at always inflated promises on the return. There is only so much real “stuff” to go around. Perhaps you are familiar with the shortages in raw materials required to sustain industrialized societies? Let’s see, there’s copper (which is being stolen from public installations such as telephone and utility poles), platinum is definitely next as well as zinc. Oil seems to be popular . . . these are just the building blocks and sustaining components for everything we use and have become accustomed and or artificially dependent upon. There are other minor inconveniences such as food supplies that aren’t able to be maintained. Now, I am NOT among those that claim there are just too many people. I claim there are too many stupid people.

Everyone in this nation as well as every other nation logically wants the best of everything. Are you detecting a pattern? From the time a baby takes the cookie out of their mouth to steal the obviously better cookie in the other baby’s mouth the game is on. Do you really think the current downward economic spiral is going to correct itself? The apocalyptic answer would be, “Yes. Eventually.” I sure hope we aren’t waiting for that result. But, the collapse of a house of cards always comes to rest on very real ground of tested substance.

The world financial institutions are that house of cards.

Let's see - businesses pay employees who in turn spend their salaries in businesses and all of the above pay income into the government in the form of taxes. All exchange a currency whose value is established by the banking industry, regulated by the governments who set the value of the currency. This value is determined by evaluating the products and services of the businesses and setting a worth to each. That’s all somewhat obvious, yes? Well, it helps to squint a little more closely at the obvious every now and again. At one time there was a principle understanding that whether currency was in the form of tiny pebbles, or sea shells or gold coins or linen with the faces of world leaders, or a row of numbers in a ledger that there was something of globally recognized equivalent value – a real thing that was locked away for safe keeping which was represented by the currency. Everything in this system worked well because there was a built-in protection against abuse. Whatever was considered the treasure upon which promises of payment was based was of a known quantity. There was only so much of this good stuff. Everybody knew it. Everybody wanted it but understood there wasn’t enough to go around. The value of the currency had a fixed limit. Throughout history, whenever an individual or a government tried to misrepresent their worth by INFLATING the purported value they held it would eventually become obvious that they were extended beyond their true means and their accounts would only be CREDITED when they could prove they had enough of the good stuff with which to pay.

Many of you are familiar with a classic example - the hapless state Germany found itself, after World War I, whereby the nation was being denied the ability to get real value for their goods and services in a vengeful retribution by the victor nations. The perfectly understandable impetus for the treatment had been that it was necessary to prevent the aggressor an opportunity to use their industry to tool up for future wars. This became a blanket that cloaked the criminal, deliberate artificial devaluation of Germany’s goods and services. In other words, they were being robbed. In desperation, the German government printed more currency than they had real stuff to back it up and this inflated the price of everything only to drive the nation into deeper debt and devaluation. As has too often been the case, it took war to break the cycle.

Credit used to be difficult to procure. This was (and would still be) a good thing. But now the general mindset is that credit is an entitlement – not a privilege. Where did this change? I deliberately referred to the “financial industry,” earlier. These same entities were once known as “financial INSTITUTIONS.” That is a telling distinction. With the cultural shift in business away from producing a product to showing a profit the whole definition of industry changed. So now every imaginable thing became an industry – not just real things. Why? That is because real things have finite quantities. There are only so many real things to go around. If we’re going to maximize profits then we need to make more stuff. The reasoning followed that an infinite amount of stuff meant infinite profit potential.

Everybody could have everything they ever wanted!!!

Problem: Selling pizzas is limited to several things:

  1. There is only so much stuff in the world from which to make pizzas
  2. There are only so many places where it is possible to make pizzas
  3. There are only so many people that want a pizza
  4. Pizza is only wanted a limited number of times.
Solution: This all changes if instead of selling pizzas you are selling stock in that pizza! You are no longer selling an actual product but the belief in that product. As long as you can create interest you can sell an intangible concept for an actual exchange of currency and make that all important profit.

This concept is a perpetual motion machine. The problem is that perpetuating motion requires constantly refueling the engine. Oops. There is only so much real fuel to feed the imaginary machine.

Everyone wanted the promises made by investing. Every nation and business and institution bought into the ride. Everyone ignored the fine print which said that the possible gains were not guaranteed but the losses would be real. Everyone extended themselves by believing that the perpetual earnings of profit would increase the imaginary value ahead of the very real inflation. Now there are lame efforts to stop the bleeding and dump more money into perpetuating a fantasy.

For the senior class in my Baby Boomer Generation this has all worked out very well; for the junior, sophomore and freshman underclassmen – not so well. The oldest members of the Boomers invested well and invested wisely and then pulled their theoretical profits out of the stock market in the form of very real assets for their very real retirement. Those assets are not coming back. With real there were only so many of them. Also, the Boomers worked when products were real, too. They manufactured and sold physical goods. They also had the benefit of a very real and very large customer base. Consumers of the same status and fiscal strength were there to purchase the real stuff. There is not much real that is made in America anymore. This includes people. Birth rates continue to decrease and workers grow old and die with none to replace them. Instead, the concept might originate for something in the United States but the real product is manufactured in a “developing nation.”

We are no longer developing. Meanwhile, other nations are desirous to have what we have. They’ve figured it out, too. They have industrialized and look like replicas of what we were a hundred years ago. They also are modeling all of our real failures right along with our real successes. We were the largest exporting nation but are becoming a really large importing nation.

We are entirely dependent upon other nations for our real needs. It should trouble you that we do not even manufacture a man’s shirt on our own soil. Hathaway Shirts, started business to supply clothing to the Union Army for the Civil War. They were the only remaining manufacturer of their kind in the United States until they closed their plant about fives years ago. We don’t even make our own clothes!?!?! Aren’t you frightened?

We run to buy things at the most discounted prices possible and don’t even blink that all of it is made overseas. Am I being alarmist? Answer this concern of mine, then. You are aware that most retailers do not make a profit for the entire year until the Christmas holiday season, correct? Retail – by definition – makes no products but only sells those made by others. Yet, retail is one of the only growing markets in our economy. Meanwhile American industries announce their lay-offs and plant closures in that same season hoping to drown the bad news under carols and sparkling lights and offset the real impact on the imaginary stock market while consumers are drunk with spending. Spending beyond their real ability to pay on extended credit into the next year! So, here’s my question. The retailers make just enough profit to survive and pay their employees minimum wage. How is this infusing the economy in a healthy way? The bigger question is after displacing our own people from their jobs and sending those jobs abroad – How many of the Indian Pakistani, and Chinese workers (just to name a few) do their Christmas shopping over here?

It’s obvious that we need to save money wherever we can because we’re pissing it away on gourmet coffees, off road vehicles for one person to commute to the office, spa treatments and gym memberships because we don’t physically work a day in our lives. So rather than perform some honest day of labor in (god forbid) a factory, or growing a crop of grain or doing real, productive work we spend fortunes on How-To seminars and erectile dysfunction pills. I’m so glad that we have our priorities straight and personal gratification comes first.

Rather than deal with anything having to do with self-control and denial of greed and excess we would rather turn our attention to the “feel good” diversion of the day to get the onus off of us and somewhere . . . intangible. (The flavor of the moment is global warming.) As long as we do not have to really do anything personally to correct a problem, only “contribute” . . . We’re good! The more enormous and beyond anyone’s scope to actually fix it – the better.

We have one answer to everything at present and that is, “Somebody throw money at it and make it go away!” Our money is no damn good, people. The stock market is not a bad thing – that’s not my point. The stock market is not real. It’s the literal representation of a bill of goods. There is no secured value behind the numbers. The very institutions established to police greed got greedy themselves. There is no real value behind any of it. The worth is inflated beyond all proportion. Stop worrying about the bubble bursting and start looking at all of the hot air being pumped in to try and avoid the inevitable collapse.

There is a very strange hush all around the halls of government and investment houses and any other venue where money is the business such as insurance companies. If this were a horror movie this would be the eerie silence just before all hell breaks loose.

We paid too much for the pizza; and, the real estate, and the jewelry, and the no interest until next year. We demanded it and “they” supplied it. We and they just happen to be the same person. None of this will stop itself unless we stop it. It will not continue if we don’t stop it but the spin we’ve been fascinated by for so long is becoming unstable. We don’t have enough energy to put into the top to keep it going and it’s getting wobbly and about to take a wild path before it grinds to a halt.

Here’s another example of what has my attention. Three of the largest suppliers of oil, outside of the Middle East, are nations with serious cash deficits. They do not have real resources to back up the expenses they will incur producing oil. They will pass those expenses onto every barrel of oil they produce. The projected impact is that a gallon of gas will climb above $5.50. Stop to consider that oil is also used in plastics manufacturing and chemicals and other products. The fuel to generate electricity will raise the utility bills further of industry and individuals. Just a small for instance: The cost of a bottle of aspirin will climb dramatically because of the cost to produce its plastic bottle and run the automated equipment that makes the product.

No one is in a position to stop using cars, trains, buses, trucks and airplanes. We can’t stop using electricity cold-turkey. We need to keep producing food, shelter and clothing. But everything else that we could give up (but won’t) will suddenly look very stupid compared to barely scraping by to afford to go to work. Now, don’t think that “the senseless war”, or however you refer to Iraq, is stopping you from enjoying better oil prices. The history of the oil producing nations has always been to maximize profits when the demand is the greatest. Guess where we are? Oil is a commodity. The demand is very desirable to build into your commodity to ensure constant and ever increasing demand. Look at something as totally needless as diamonds – yet how desirable and expensive those little pieces of nothing always are. As long as people want something they will pay to have it. The only time somebody wants most things is to know they have it instead of everyone else. Sad; Isn’t it? How angry are you when someone else gets the parking space?

The economic melt-down has come to a full boil and it’s only a matter of time before it erupts. If you are living on credit or in a house that is over valued or have insurance and investments tied to imaginary money you’re in for an awful series of losses. I am living a very austere lifestyle that includes deliberately denying me a few things. It isn’t all wonderful but it is designed so that I don’t lose things that I value more. You know – real substance. I don’t think things are going to get better anytime soon. I would like to do better than barely survive.

Too bad most won’t do what needs to be done. How am I so sure? Let me introduce a concept that will get immediate chortles and giggles . . .

Abstinence.

Ridiculous, isn’t it? You immediately think in terms of avoiding sex and oh how absurdly funny that is. No one could do that. No one would do that. That reaction is why my argument has already been proven. To abstain is nothing more than to not participate. The prevailing attitude of the day is that one should not have to make such choices. We don’t want absolutes. There is no good or bad. No right or wrong. No good or evil. No one wishes to have any restrictions or limitations placed upon them and absolutes need to be dismissed to achieve that goal. We want no constraints and show no restraint. It’s pathetic and it’s weak and it’s beneath our dignity but who cares about dignity when we demand respect? We want what we want when we want it. We refuse to be denied. Little annoyances like being told that supplies are limited only apply to someone else.

What a load of crap. Because of such “thinking” we can’t quit smoking without a chemical pacifier. No one is responsible for their personal problems – instead it’s somehow a public spectacle and a corporate obligation. Nobody has the balls to stand alone anymore. I don’t mean shoot their mouth off; I mean take a stand on principal. Do we have any principles and values that are still based on something real?

One thing is undeniable about abstinence. If you don’t participate in something you don’t suffer its consequences.

The world has substituted opinion for truth. That may not register with you immediately. Truth is one of those nasty absolutes that are denied to exist. If you live in denial you will eventually be confronted by reality but you will not be prepared for the encounter. Don’t wait for someone else to fix this mess for you. Do whatever you have to, now, to make sure your cards are on the table and not up in the air with the gathering storm.


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