Male Bashing – The International Sport

One of the many snappy quips in Oscar Wilde’s, “Lady Windermere's Fan,” was a statement made by an elderly gentlemen in reply to the accusation that it is the behavior of men that causes women to mistrust each other. His remark was, “Women don’t trust women. Men don’t trust women. It is what binds the Catholic and the Hindu, together.”

One of the unexpected pleasures of researching that quote was all of the interpretation it has been given by women who have simply brushed it aside and explained it away as the misogynistic ramblings of a man without perspective. How those women wish that were true. In point of fact women are not trustworthy. Now, during this high season of celebrating every nuance of women without apology or acknowledgment that woman is FLAWED should only be expected when at the same time men are regarded as unnecessary or at best are incorrect in all their imaginations. The least valid source of honest evaluation is found by going to that being sampled and inquiring its opinion of itself. Yet, for women, that is exactly what is being done. Never mind that nearly half of the population is not female and has likely had enough involvement with the creature to have drawn some measurable conclusions. While the world party continues for the celebration and deification of woman it is time to say enough already.

If you want my respect try earning it. I’ve not seen a lot to recommend women anywhere near as highly as they regard themselves. And let’s get a few of your general conclusions out of the way. I am not afraid of you. I am not intimidated by you. I am not made insecure by your success. I am not lost and without a defined place in this world because you have trampled under my precious patriarchal values. Most importantly - I am not fooled. If you want to be treated like a man I will beat you down like any other man that steps out of line. That you want to have your cake and eat it, too, by asserting rights when they accommodate you and cry unfair when they don’t is something you’re going to have to relinquish. Maybe when we were children and were told to “let the girl win” it was different. Few of you have changed your ways – you still cheat and expect it to go unnoticed. You still expect your mistakes forgiven and another free chance. I dare you to reciprocate.

Behind all of the empowerment bravado is a lack of confidence and an unaddressed fear. The cold-hearted, I mean business woman is a sham. I have offered the challenge before and offer it, again, here. If you really have something better and different to offer in place of how men conduct themselves why not show me that instead of the practiced deceit and subterfuge? None of you are honestly trying to prove anything to men. You are trying to convince yourself that whatever you are pursuing with cut-throat ambition will validate you and prove your worth. Meanwhile you trample and haphazardly discard everything in your path leaving a wake of needlessly damaged people and experiences. When that academic, or career, or political goal is reached what else will you have to offer? What are you wildly slashing to ribbons as you try to slay your own demons? So write off what I say and continue to insist that I’m just another man that either doesn’t understand or doesn’t want you to succeed. I would like to give you more credit than your being that shallow and self serving. If you think the world was a bad place, before, you had better consider what would happen if men turn enemy rather than make allowances for your collective behavior.

There are a few of you out there that have a better focus and a firmer grip on reality. I have been made to shut-up by a few extremely reasoned and articulate female voices somehow able to be heard over the din of the chaos otherwise surrounding. I will not give their names but I have asked their permission to share their thoughts. I will try not to take their comments out of context and give you their insights. If I knew more women such as these I would find better ways to spend my time than taking on this insanity. I will offer this: I have shown their comments to other men without introduction or explanation and to the man their response was, “Wow. Where did you find honest women? They really get it.. I would love to know a woman like that who doesn’t play games.”

I will end with the actual words of actual women.

The first thought was in response to me suggesting “[When] women fail to recognize the feminine as strength they are so cheated."

“I'd say that's very true. There is power in femininity but most women fail to recognize it thinking that different automatically means weaker.”

“The Psychology of Gender class was the most obnoxious class I took in my entire college course experiences. Instead of a fair analysis of genders and how they develop it was a slam on men, male bias, abortion promotion, and basically a treatise on how to wipe out the differences in men and women. Why? That's one of the most offensive goals I've encountered. Celebrate the differences. I'm more than happy to teach my hoped-for future children that men are big and strong and women are soft and squishy and that having intelligence and thoughtfulness can be the purview of either. The fact remains that many women think they want to become men and they want to stomp their men into submissiveness. Then they lament the results.”

Other thoughts –

“I am not an emotive person . . . Needless to say it didn't work out. He thought I was cold and distant and loved my work more than him. Sadly enough it might have been true. I was more of a workaholic then than I am now.”

“There are days when I feel like I'd like to be in a relationship, again. I miss knowing that I would have plans on a weekend, if I felt like it, and always knowing where to sit at a table of friends and the little bits of a relationship that are more about belonging and being comfortable than anything else. There is very little outside pressure, besides a mother who wants grandchildren (and I'm' young, I'm not having kids anytime soon, if ever!). I also think that I'm at an age where I'm very selfish, I hate being tied down to anything. I love traveling and I like the idea that I could pack up and go tomorrow if I want to, without worrying about anyone else. People find that attractive in the short term, but in fact I am very difficult to live with!”

“My view on relationships, with all of my vast experience, is that if the right person comes along I'd be very happy, but if not - I'm also happy. I have a lot of personal issues to sort out, and that's a lot easier to do on my own. I'd like to be happy and comfortable with myself and sort the little things out before I complicate matters by bringing other people into everything. I am a firm believer in relationships being a part of life, but not your whole life. You have to be a complete person on your own. A partner should complement you, not complete you. You have to do that yourself first.”

“As much as it is nothing personal from your side I really do hope that I can help you to forgive women a little bit. My reasoning for this is as follows: most women are manipulative and mess with people's heads to get what they want. But a lot of that is not because they hate men. A large part of it is that we (particularly my generation) have been raised to believe that we can do everything we set our minds to, so in essence, No we don't need men. And so we're forced to stand alone and cope with everything life throws our way because we're expected to right all the 'injustices' of the past. Feminism has long since passed equality, and is focused on the superiority of women over men. That is as narrow-minded and prejudiced as all the pre-feminist ideas! So yes, women can be nasty and make men feel as if they aren't needed. But if you look into it you may find that that stems from women battling to cope with everything expected of them - if there comes an occasion when she can make a man feel like he's not needed, it means that she's accomplishing what is expected of her - on some level, anyway!

Humans are totally messed up.”

“I remember a woman who always used the quote, "We should be strong enough on the inside that we can be gentle on the outside." As much as I found it intensely irritating and clichéd, I seem to be thinking about it a lot!”

“I think women know what they really want. In some cases it's independence and a career, but not always, and not only! The problem is that the world still sees things like cooking, housekeeping and childrearing as 'women's work" - I'm not blaming men for it, it's as much as women taking on responsibilities that we've been trained for. A little while ago I went to visit my father, where I automatically shopped, cooked, and generally looked after him, while still having meetings and other business both personal and professional. It's seen as special when a guy cooks a meal, and not a regular occurrence. So basically, women are faced with a huge dilemma - we can be lonely and independent, which is often the easy option, or can we balance a career and a family with all of the responsibilities of both.”

“You also get women who get married and stop working and become devoted housewives and mothers. I've met a lot of them, they put their own pursuits on hold . . . And as much as I don't understand it at all, I can see that they're really happy. But seriously, women aren't as cold-hearted and calculating as we seem - most women, anyway!”

“Women are scared to admit it, but deep down, we all really want a big strong guy to protect us and have deep emotional insight, of course. But primary to all the companionship and repartee and everything else, a girl just wants to feel safe and secure, and wanted.”