Editor’s Note: This is another article in a continuing series to assist women in understanding the elements that attract or repel men. The previous post covered the considerations for properly wearing a pony tail. This post will continue to address visual elements, as well. It is not intended to be the final word on the subject but it does meet the need of providing a man’s perspective on issues which women’s magazines often fail to consult. Other aspects of the feminine archetype will be discussed at later dates.
Realizing that body issue has tremendous influence on a woman’s well-being it will not be the intent of this commentary to suggest one female body as better or worse than any other. Although this post is meant in good humor it is not at all funny how women hurt themselves emotionally, spiritually and physically because of false perceptions of what validates them as human beings.
The author wishes women would look at clothing as they should makeup – something that may be applied or removed while leaving the person underneath intact.
We would like to thank Henrietta Galinha for modeling our swimwear.
It is my observation that women go for the sales pitch and men go for the packaging. The consumer may be entirely fooled by either one. The adage: Buyer Beware has unfortunately become a part of the negatives associated with dating. Women expect men to lie and men accept that the person underneath all of the camouflage is not the woman he expected. Oscar Wilde observed that women are like sausages. If one is to thoroughly enjoy the experience it is better not to watch their preparation.
I endeavor not to lie or exaggerate in the things I try to convey with this blog. But, the rules are different for women because men want eye candy. I must therefore encourage some small deceits for women because that is what it unfortunately takes to get a man to pay attention long enough to want to know the real woman underneath. So, I will help you make the most of the packaging but I ask a very large favor in return – let that be the extent of your lies. That alone would be a refreshing change that would garnish you more attention than any cup size in the long run. Gravity wreaks havoc on the exterior but it can’t touch a beautiful soul. Enough preaching.
Here in the United States the weather is just approaching warm enough for bathing suits and skimpy traces of clothing for the female population. I am going to emphasize that less is not more. A micro bikini or thong leaves nothing to the imagination. If all you want to be is a one-time porn fantasy for a man then go for as little clothing as possible when he sees you for the first time. That sort of visual works only well for the initial stimulation. After that he’s got nothing left to imagine and he’s moving on to someone where it’s going to take effort to sneak a peek. A hint of bra poking out from under a blouse will make a man look a hundred times whereas an exposed chest will get his attention but he’ll inadvertently be looking for what he can’t see. If everything is on display that look is going to go elsewhere. When a man thinks he’s only going to be able to look but not touch he loses interest when the mystery is gone.
As briefly mentioned in the discussion of pony tails there is a need to direct the eye of a man and to present as smooth and uninterrupted a curve as possible for maximum effect. Compound curves are a woman’s natural asset. Don’t get hung up on the stick figure models and the show girl chest sizes. Sure, there are limits to how much weight is too much but if you are dieting for the well-being of your health the rest really does fall into place. Typically men store fat above the waist and women below. It wouldn’t matter if that were reversed the results would be no more attractive. But what does matter is to understand the places each gender dislikes fat the most will be the last places a diet or exercise will remove it. Where the body stores fat first will be the last place the body burns. For men, that’s going to mean that “love handles” will hang on until there’s nothing but lean everywhere else. For women, “saddle bags” and “junk in the trunk” will be her deep seated problem. Therefore the last thing anyone should do is call attention to these areas. You want to think in terms of smoothing out the bumps.
Think about it, ladies – doesn’t a bathrobe cinched at the waist present a much more attractive figure than a skin-tight T-shirt tucked into a pair of shorts? That’s because the fabric smooths out the curves and doesn’t call attention to bits and pieces but makes everything one piece. A beach cover-up does exactly the same thing. Sometimes a shirt hanging down to the top of a woman’s thighs is the sexiest look on the beach. Why? - For every reason which has been mentioned up to this point: every curve is blended together and the mystery has yet to be revealed. This is the same thinking that causes a well fitted blazer to complete the figure in a woman’s suit and skirt. Take advantage of this.
So it’s time to elaborate on bathing suit style. If you look in the mirror do you zoom in with horror to any parts of yourself? If so then why would you want to single your parts out by the choice of swimwear?
I am not going to claim that a bikini isn’t incredibly attractive. It just isn’t attractive for that large a portion of the population. In these photographs, Henrietta, is wearing a cute little tropical print bikini. She may not be the best figure for the look. For a bikini to work well it has to call attention to what IS NOT being covered by the top and bottom. The legs need to be long in appearance with a bikini. Thighs can’t be “puffy” or thick. The waist needs to be very well defined so that the hips and breasts connect the dots of an hourglass shaped curve. The tummy needs to be taught, the back needs to be sculpted and the cheeks of the buttocks can not droop. That’s an incredible amount of variables to go wrong and fail to present you as the true person you are - more beautiful than just your bits and pieces.
And don’t imagine this only applies to heavier women. A skinny Minnie that looks like a bag of bones will not show any better. You do not have to have obvious breasts to be a desirable woman. You do need reasonably full breasts to make the bikini work. See the difference? The same consideration goes for the behind.
More appropriate for most women would be the one piece suit. I am not talking about those with little skirts designed to hide pear-shaped bottoms. If anything those actually call too much attention to the “problem areas.” One piece suits do not automatically equate to “matronly.” What they often do equate to is a look that blends and harmonizes your features and allows you to be comfortable in showing a reasonable amount of your own skin. You don’t have to spend the entire time you’re in the suit tugging at threads of fabric and trying to stretch them to modest lengths.
That is the whole point. You want to wear something that doesn’t torment you physically and psychologically the entire time you have it on. Please don’t subscribe to someone else’s ideal. Confidence is sexy. One piece suits are all about the cut – whether the leg is cut high or low and how much bikini and cheek area is revealed. Some suits have a nice low neckline that shows a hint of cleavage and may run all the way to the navel. That can be extremely sexy because it’s just like the blouse with the “accidental” button left undone. Likewise, a low cut back accomplishes everything a bikini does but the additional fabric under the arms blends your curves together from top to bottom.
If that doesn’t seem sexy enough then I am going to recommend the investment in a cover-up that allows you to cinch in the waist as high or low as you need to define that hourglass shaped curve with a length that is barely enough to extend to your crotch when you are standing. Any man that fails to notice you then is dead.
The last consideration for appropriate swimwear is complexion. Henrietta has discoloration from blemishes, scars, birthmarks and possibly other conditions. If these bother her then concealment with a one piece suit is another advantage. If they don’t bother her everyone else can get over it. You may also have noticed that while trying for a golden brown tan she has suffered some burns. Never sacrifice your health in the pursuit of beauty. If the men you are accustomed to are only concerned with skin deep, please spend more time being critical of your taste in men instead of your body. If you are only concerned with skin deep then it's time to become comfortable in your own skin.
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