Wednesday, September 17, 2008

To Whom It May Concern.

I still suck.

4 comments:

himbeer29 said...

I disagree.

Anonymous said...

Actually, I think that is a lie. I think that sucking has been addressed before and it was decided that you don't actually suck.

willgirl said...

ROFLMAO!!!!

Amen Sista! I mean...er....

himbeer29 said...

According to Wikipedia, current as of 9/20/2008 12:18 pm:
Suck may refer to:
Suction, the creation of a partial vacuum, or region of low pressure
Suck.com, a satire and editorial web site
Oral sex, particularly fellatio
River Suck, a river in Ireland
"Suck", a song by Nine Inch Nails from the 1992 EP Broken
"Suck", a song by Shriekback from their album Jam Science distributed by Arista
"Sucks" (song), a song on the album Angst by KMFDM

I shall address all of these in turn.
1. you certainly are not creating a vacuum or region of low pressure. (without the aid of equipment, of course.) If you are, there are probably some scientists who would pay good money to determine how your existence creates a vacuum in the area you occupy.
2. As this is not a verb, I shall ignore it. Although file the knowledge away for future reference the next time you're bored ;-).
3. Re oral sex... I'm assuming you are also not in the midst of performing fellatio, for several reasons which I'm not going to discuss in detail. But you get the picture.
4. Now if you said I am suck, then this could apply. However, again, this is not a verb. Interestingly, I wonder if perhaps you could round up other people who "suck" and make pilgrimages to the River Suck? (assuming you continue to think you suck after my irrefutable logic.)
5, 6, and 7. All songs. I'm unfamiliar with the latter two, but I'm pretty sure you disagree at least with the NIN song. possibly. probably.

Now, something tells me you *may* be referring to the second definition of "suck" in the New Oxford American Dictionary, which reads: 2 [ intrans. ] informal. be very bad, disagreeable, or disgusting. Looking into this will take more effort. It would appear that in order to prove that you "suck", you would have to show that others find you bad, disagreeable, or disgusting. Unfortunately I do not have a proper sampling technique handy but I'm willing to take the comments as well as my own opinion (I apologize, great scientists of the world, for my clearly unscientific technique) and am ready to argue that people who know you do not, in fact, think you suck. As bias as they might be, you are even more so and therefore your statement is false.

Additionally, if you want to follow another trail of logic, if to suck means to be very bad, and we assume that "to be bad" means to be unskilled and you leave open to conjecture what it is that you actually suck at doing, we can assume that you mean to say you suck at everything. And if you suck at everything, that includes making statements of truth. Therefore, you cannot suck because if you did, you wouldn't be able to make that conclusion/statement. (A bit weak and convoluted, but think of the: "everything I say is a lie" paradox...) (I would develop this further but, surprisingly, there are other things I should be doing right now...)

In any case, you don't suck. So stop being unnecessarily hard on yourself and channel your negative energy into writing or creating. It's what all the great artists do ;-).